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				<a id="mw-mf-last-modified" data-timestamp="1435583988" href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php/Special:History/%22Sir,_Yes_Sir!%22" data-user-name="HotRobotSlave" data-user-gender="unknown" class="top-bar truncated-text">Last modified on 29 June 2015, at 13:19</a>		<script>
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			<h1 id="section_0">"Sir, Yes Sir!"</h1><ul id="page-actions" class="hlist"><li id="ca-edit" class="icon icon-32px icon-edit" title="Edit the lead section of this page."></li><li id="ca-talk" class="hidden icon icon-32px icon-talk"><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php?title=Talk:%22Sir,_Yes_Sir!%22&amp;action=edit&amp;redlink=1" title="Discussion about the content page [t]" accesskey="t">Discussion</a></li><li id="ca-watch" class="watch-this-article icon icon-32px"><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php?title=Special:UserLogin&amp;returnto=%22Sir%2C+Yes+Sir%21%22" title="Add this page to your watchlist [w]" accesskey="w"></a></li></ul>		</div>
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<td><b>Writefag</b>
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<td>GrenadierApple
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<td><b>Pastebin link</b>:
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<td><a rel="nofollow" class="external free" href="http://pastebin.com/9WeeGgq7">http://pastebin.com/9WeeGgq7</a>
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<td><b>Pastebin creation</b>
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<td>Monday 22nd of September 2014 02:32:05 AM CDT
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<td><b>Last Pastebin update</b>
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<td>Monday 22nd of September 2014 02:32:05 AM CDT
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</div><h3><span class="mw-headline" id=".22Sir.2C_Yes_Sir.21.22">"Sir, Yes Sir!"</span><a href="&quot;Sir,_Yes_Sir!&quot;#/editor/1" title="Edit section: &quot;Sir, Yes Sir!&quot;" data-section="1" class="edit-page icon icon-32px icon-edit enabled">Edit</a></h3><div>
<div dir="ltr" class="mw-geshi mw-code mw-content-ltr"><div class="gettext source-gettext">&#160;<br />&#160;&quot;Well, Anonymous. With your new diplomat status, you're officially a palace VIP. You'll get a personal servant, full access to all the palace kitchens, the works!&quot;<br />&#160;<br />&quot;Oh, you also get full guard 'service.' If you're into mares, be sure to try out Liquid Fire and Radiance. For the stallions, Rusty Shores is always a good bet, and Sandstone is always a bunch of fun.&quot;<br />&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you roll your eyes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;even in the few weeks you've been here, you've learned Celestia's a bit of a troll</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not pranking, necessarily, or even outright hazing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but subtle jokes at others' expense</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;like the time she took a bath and teleported to her room for a towel to dry off</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the guards had worked themselves into conniption fits by the time you walked by</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;worried about their princess being in the tub so long</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but completely lacking the courage to invade her privacy in such an intimate fashion</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;y'know, things like that</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;and now you're &quot;a VIP with access to mare and stallion guards at your leisure&quot;?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;right</span><br />&quot;Thanks, Princess, I'll get right on that.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she just gives you a sly smile</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Enjoy yourself, dear Anonymous.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can hear the laughter in her voice</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I know I do~.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;mmmmhm</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stroll casually to your new room, where a mare and stallion are already standing guard by your door</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;admittedly, better than the spare room and cot they'd laid you up in while living arrangements were getting sorted out</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the pair of guards both salute smartly, standing to either side of the wooden double doors</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're nearly inside when the mare speaks up</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ah, sir, did you require our services today?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you arch your brow and look back at her</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she's staring straight ahead, not seeming to acknowledge that she said anything</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but there's a slight rosy tint to those cream-colored cheeks</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;embarrassed, huh?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you chuckle to yourself</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Celestia must've put her up to it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're not normally one for pranks, but y'know what?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;just for your favorite Sunbutt, you'll play along</span><br />&quot;Ehh... sure, c'mon inside.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;the mare salutes and her squad member nods curtly to her as she begins to trot after you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he's still facing away from you, but you'd swear there's a smirk on what little of his face you can see</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you chuckle to yourself, closing the door loudly and ominously behind you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;if Celly's going to bust your balls, you'll at least get the guards back while you're planning your revenge on her</span><br />&quot;Alright, first things first, tell me your name.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you put on as imperious a voice as you can</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;back at home, the idea of you barking orders at anyone would've been hysterical</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but since these ponies have no frame of reference for what an &quot;alpha&quot; human acts like</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it apparently comes across as actually intimidating</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the mare gulps audibly, but keeps her composure</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she is a guard, after all</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Stardust, sir. At your service.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you walk around her, making a great show of examining her from every angle</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;placing a hand lightly on her armor here, running a hand down her coat there</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you nod approvingly as you come back around to her front</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she looks stoic, though that blush has definitely gotten deeper than when you walked in</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you plop down on the bed and shrug, relaxing your stance considerably</span><br />&quot;Well it's a pleasure to meet you Stardust, tell me, have you been guarding my doorway for very long?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;her eyes break that hardline stare to dart over at you in confusion</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but she regains her composure quickly</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ah, no sir. I was only assigned here today.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you nod, then lay back on your bed</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;jesus, they don't half-ass anything here</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it's like a double-wide King, hell of a trade up from your cot</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;after a moment of silence, you hear the mare clear her throat</span><br />&quot;What's up?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear her hooves shuffle on the floor for a moment</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Er... permission to speak freely, sir?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you wave your hand lackadaisically</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it takes you a second to realize she has no reference for what that means</span><br />&quot;Yeah, sure, speak away.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she shuffles her hooves again</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sir, am I... er, to your liking? I can fetch another guard if it would better suit you...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;heh</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;trying to weasel out of playing along with the prank, now, eh?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;no no, let's see how far we can go with it</span><br />&quot;Oh, no, you're fine, perfect specimen of the guard, all that. I just figured if you're going to be 'guarding' me on a regular basis, it'd be nice if we got to know each other a bit first. Tell me a bit about yourself, huh?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can actually hear her snap back to attention</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;guess that was close enough to an order for her to take it as one</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she stares straight ahead, no longer fidgeting in place or tugging at her armor</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ever since I was accepted into the Royal Guard, I have been trained specifically to serve the royal family and their chosen delegates.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you wave your hand surreptitiously</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this is practically word-for-word from the Guard Handbook, if you had to guess</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;that wasn't the question you asked</span><br />&quot;Right, right, I get that, but I'm interested in you specifically. Tell me about you, what do you like?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she blushes furiously but keeps her eyes straight ahead</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Whatever you like, sir.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you give a chuckle</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;obviously this is what she's been trained to do</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;or ordered, but same difference</span><br />&quot;Er... okay, let's try this. What kind of music do you like? DJ Pon-<span class="nu0">3</span>, the Canterlot Orchestra, Equestria Girls...?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;the mare actually meets your eyes for a split-second in pure confusion</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Whatever kind of music you like, sir.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;okay, this is getting a bit frustrating</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you decide to break it down a little more to make things easier</span><br />&quot;Right. Look, I know what I like. And I'm guessing that since you were 'assigned' to me, you know what I like, it being your job and all.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she gives an affirming nod</span><br />&quot;But I'd like to know what you like.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you ponder for a second</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;aha</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you snap your fingers</span><br />&quot;Here, look, do you have a favorite food?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she nods smartly</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes sir.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;perfect</span><br />&quot;Excellent! What's your favorite food?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she answers immediately and without hesitation</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Whatever food you like, sir.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;god fucking dammit</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;is this part of the prank?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this has to be part of the prank</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you give her a disbelieving stare from the bed</span><br />&quot;Wait, so let me get this straight, you have to follow my every order, indulge my every like, cater to my every whim?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she gives that same curt nod</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;okay</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;hold on, there was like a riddle or something about this</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;where a barber can't shave his own head, or something?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've got it</span><br />&quot;Alright, new order then: I order you not to obey any of my orders. I hereby order you to think for yourself.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she seems to give this some consideration</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;then fixes you with that iron-clad stare they drilled into her in Guard entrance camp</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sir, no, sir.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you shake your head</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;dammit, it hurts because you know you're falling for this master horseruse, but you can't stop yourself</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;yes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you mad</span><br />&quot;Let me get this straight. Anything I say, you do.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she nods</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sir, yes sir.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;let's test that theory</span><br />&quot;Bark like a dog.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she stands at attention, and you'd swear you see the shadow of a frown</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but next thing you know, her mouth opens</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you shake your head in disbelief, sitting up on the bed and scratching the side of your head in confusion</span><br />&quot;No, no, a big dog.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she stops mid-arf</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;disniggaserious.flac</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you wave dismissively</span><br />&quot;Hop on one leg.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she doesn't even slow down her rhythmic &quot;woof&quot;s, pushing back onto her hind legs and then balancing on her left as she bounces lightly</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you rub your face in disbelief</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;there's no way this is actually happening</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you sit up and stride over to the door</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you poke your head out and see the male guard standing at attention still</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a brown-coated stallion with a dark chocolate tail</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he risks a glance over his shoulder at you after a few seconds of your staring at him</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;apparently he's not quite as well-trained as his colleague</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Er...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the &quot;woof&quot;s continue as you hear Stardust's hoof clopping methodically in time with her dog noises</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Did you need another... uh, 'pet', sir?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he asks, the blush mixing with the anxious look in his eye to create an expression somewhere between fearful and hopeful</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;out status:</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;[ ]not creeped</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;[x]creeped</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you give him a cautious pat on the shoulder and turn to walk back inside</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;amid the &quot;woof&quot;ing, you hear the brown pone at your door let out an appreciative pant or two</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're back to the bed and back to watching Stardust in disbelief</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;jesus, one downside to living in pony-medieval times</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;no air conditioning</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;just as you get your arm out of the second sleeve, you hear the door creak open again</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you turn and see a flowing aurora of blue, speckled with white here and there</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the Princess of the Night's blue eyes wander from you, sitting on your bed more undressed than she's ever seen you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;to the mare bouncing on one hoof and barking like a hound</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;then down to where the snout of a brown pone is pushing against the door</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear the male guard let out a plaintive whine like a puppy who knows he's done something wrong</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna blinks a couple times, looking back up to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...We are glad to see thou hast found amusement with Our subjects, Anonymous.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh god</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;no</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this isn't a sex thing, c'mon</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she gestures gently with one hoof to the stallion pawing at your door</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Dost thou mind if We avail ourselves of this one? If he has been a naughty puppy, We are prepared to punish him most harshly.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;ghqwkerjopoij</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you don't</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;that's not</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what</span><br />&quot;Uh?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;the princess cocks her head to one side</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;after you struggle in vain to get anything more coherent out for a few seconds, she seems to decide that &quot;uh&quot; is close enough to &quot;yes&quot; to count</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;ruffling the stallion's mane playfully, she retreats from your den of madness</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Come then, pup. Ooh! No no, let us reach a more private chamber first, little one!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;brain.exe has stopped working</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;rebooting in safe mode...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No need to use our leg, We have other uses for such ardor if thou art such a good and faithful hound~&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Welcome to Brain 98 �</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your program will be starting shortly</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh god, what'd you miss?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you blink rapidly</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;okay, e-fucking-nough</span><br />&quot;Stop that.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Stardust returns to all fours and goes silent immediately, awaiting orders</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this is... fucking weird</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but if Luna's reaction was any indication, this is honestly, really for real</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you pinch the bridge of your nose</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this is problematic</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you didn't mind when you though it was all an elaborate joke</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but keeping stallions and mares like this has serious moral implications</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;on the one hand, they seem to be genuinely happy</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;at least if the stallion Luna just absconded with was any indication</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but on the other hand, they've been conditioned to like this</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;is it a morally tenable position to &quot;make use of&quot; these ponies?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;do they have free will?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what even constitutes free will, in pony land?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;they may operate off of herd mentality, meaning they naturally like and enjoy--</span><br />HEY<br />YOU FUCKING FAGGOT<br />GET TO THE PORN YOU ENORMOUS COCKTEASING DICKHEAD<br /><span class="co4">&gt;your thought process implodes on itself</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;y'know, arguably, as long as they enjoy themselves and you enjoy yourself</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;whether it's 'right' or 'moral' is pretty irrelevant</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it's not like there's a gun to anyone's head</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're brought back to earth by the sound of Stardust shuffling in her armor again</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;how long were you sitting there just now?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you shake your head vigorously to clear it out</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;okay</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;well, no matter who does what with whom, everyone should at least be comfortable, right?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you gesture to the mare's armor</span><br />&quot;You can take that off, if you want.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;the earth pony looks up at you, but makes no movement to actually remove anything</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh, right</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;guess that's more a suggestion</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you'll try again</span><br />&quot;Remove your armor.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;the slightly fearful look vanishes into one of relative comfort and familiarity as she sits back and brings her hooves up to her head</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the helmet comes loose and she places it gingerly next to her, her sea-green mane matted to either side of her face as her ears flick compulsively</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the foreleg plates come next, strapped on like shinguards and similarly leaving dingy patches on her coat when they fall away</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;hind leg plates follow in short order</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but when she reaches the chest guard, things slow down considerably</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she fumbles with the latches clumsily</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it looks like it's slightly too big in the shoulders</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she can't seem to get it undone thanks to the restricted range of motion</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stand up from your seat on the bed and walk over</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;each step you take seems to make her more frantic to get the armor off, until you're directly in front of her</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she seems to almost give up when your hand reaches down and casually undoes the strap</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;then over to the other side to get the other one</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;finally, the last latch undone, the armor front falls into her hooves</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you take the back section and place it next to the rest of her assembled armor</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;her eyes very pointedly stare at the floor as she mumbles inaudibly</span><br />&quot;Sorry, I didn't quite catch that...?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she mumbles a bit louder</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sir, thank you sir.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you ruffle that matted-down mane a little</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...and then discretely wipe your hand on the side of your slacks</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;eugh</span><br />&quot;No problem. Not sure why they put latches on your armor anyway, those're a lot easier for someone with thumbs.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you give her a smile that she cautiously returns, and she proceeds to undo the flank guards, completing the utterly un-titillating strip show</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;standing back at attention, she stares straight ahead once more, awaiting your next order</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you don't issue one, opting instead to circle around her as you did before</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;with her armor gone, it's like looking at a different mare completely</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the hard lines and sharp edges that made up her armor are replaced with the gentle curve of her natural figure</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;her straight green mane, though unkempt, lends her an orderly air</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you take note of the Big Dipper cutie mark on her flank</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;y'know, as one of the many noticeable features of</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;dat plot</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;obscured only by her tail, cut tight and so short it barely covered her assets</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;as you circle back to her front once more, you repeat your little nod of approval</span><br />&quot;Wait here.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;and without another word, you stride off to the bathroom, leaving her at attention as you tend to things</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it's nearly 10 minutes before you speak to Stardust again</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can hear her shuffling her hooves in the bedroom when there's a lull in the commotion you're causing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;must be getting nervous</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;eventually, you call her in</span><br />&quot;Come here, please.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear her hooffalls as they draw closer, then transition from the fur-covered stone to the marble of the bathroom</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she trots up to where you're laying back, leaning over the side of the tub as she reaches you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've gotten rather good at catching those split-second glances by now, and this one is directed at the thick layer of bubbles in your bath</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;(jesus fuck you added too much soap to the bath, it's practically spilling out of the tub already)</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you give a knowing smirk</span><br />&quot;Could you--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you pause, remembering her predisposition, and change the tone of your voice.</span><br />&quot;Bring me a washcloth and some conditioner.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she actually gives a sidelong glance to the bubbles as she turns to fetch your items</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she returns promptly, and you take the bottle of conditioner from her mouth</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;then the washcloth from her shoulder</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you play idly with the bubbles and pointedly pay her no attention as you sink a further into the tub</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you actually have your eyes closed when you make your next demand</span><br />&quot;Join me.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you crack one eyelid and see her cock her head to one side</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh sure, now she doesn't understand suggestions</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;all it takes though is one quirk of the eyebrow and her trepidation disappears</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;as her front hooves pull at the top of the tub, you realize why she hesitated</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're plenty tall enough, but it's a bit of a stretch for a pony to climb in without a footstool or something</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;shaking your head at your own idiocy, you reach over and grab her around the middle, behind her forelegs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;for the first time, her surprise gets the better of her, and she lets out a small gasp as she's hefted into the bath with you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;and face first into the water</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can feel her cheek brush against your leg as she rights herself</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;her head breaches the surface again with a gasp</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you shake your head and chuckle at her in spite of yourself</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it's a good thing she's a guard and not a ballerina</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;cute one, but graceful she's not</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you make sure she's done flailing before you make a twirling motion with your finger</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she turns obediently, the click of her hooves echoing strangely under the water</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;when she's properly positioned, you reach out with both hands and place them on her shoulders, guiding her slowly but firmly into a sitting position between your legs</span><br />&quot;Close your eyes.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you lean to one side to make sure she has indeed done so (not that you have much doubt she would at this point)</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;good</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;two reasons for that order</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;first, she won't be able to prepare herself for what's about to happen</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;second</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you give the shampoo bottle a squeeze and drop a healthy dollop directly onto her mane</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it won't get in her eyes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear her take a deep breath that cuts short as your fingers spread the shampoo through her hair</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but the moment your fingers curl up and begin massaging her head, working the soap deep into her mane</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she lets out a sigh that seems to flow through her whole body, the tension in her posture melting away under your ministrations</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;that's what's real good, nyukah</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you don't bother with orders anymore, taking the liberties necessary as you turn her head this way and that</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;grabbing a small bucket left nearby to pour over her head and wash the soap away</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;lifting one hoof and then the other as you scrub down her forelegs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;gently working various shampoos, oils, conditioners and the like into her coat</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she makes cute little noises and fidgets when you reach her ears, but makes no move to stop you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you move her closer as your work moves south, backing her nearly into your lap as you wash away the grime and tension her armor left behind</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;and then of course there's nowhere left to wash</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;except...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you pull her back the last few inches, and feel that plush pony plot pressing against you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;her breathing hitches as those dextrous fingers she's enjoyed exploring the rest of her body halt just above her Cave of Wonders</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you don't bother to hide or make excuses about Little Anon resting solidly between those glorious goddamn flanks</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;as your hand slides down, you lean forward, your chest against her back</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she leans her head against your shoulder as one finger finds her honey pot and explores, but even your delving digits don't elicit the normal moans and sighs you're used to</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;instead, she bites her lip, letting out labored huffs and sucking air in through her teeth as you ply her with pleasure</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;even as a second finger joins the first, she's obstinately quiet</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can tell she's keenly aware of each thrust and bend, the feverish puffs of air in perfect time with the rhythm of your knuckles</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but she refuses to allow herself even the quietest moan</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;allow hers--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the realization hits you like a freight train, and you lean further forward so your mouth is right next to her ear</span><br />&quot;Tell me how much you love this.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;and with that, the silence shatters</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Nnnn, yes! Ahn, ahhh... yes! Please, more, I-- ah!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;her cries echo around the bathroom as you continue to finger her, her walls rippling around your digits</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;her hips buck in tandem with your work, hotdogging your dick in the process</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your other hand moves up from her side as she puts her entire weight against you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a caress of her shoulder, your thumb brushing against her cheek, and then</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a moment of terrible stillness as you hold her ear between your thumb and forefinger</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Nnnnnn... why--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you resume the fingerbang and squeeze her ear gently, kneading it under your thumb as you massage it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the velvet vice around your fingers tightens as her moans reach a fever pitch</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you grin in knowing anticipation as she thrashes in your lap, breath ragged as she rides the jagged edge</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;there's no doubt in your mind she'll obey you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but you know she needs to hear you say it, too</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;one word</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you growl it</span><br />&quot;Cum.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;the effect is immediate</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can feel her whole body convulsing under the waves of pleasure</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she doesn't bother with the complexity of words, just primal moans of ecstasy as she writhes in your arms</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you keep her rolling on that high for as long as you can make it last</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but eventually the cries give way to gasps, then sighs, and the first round is over</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;for her, anyway</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she surprises you with a forceful kiss, but you won't be defeated in the ring of tonsil hockey by a simple sneak-attack</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the two of you amuse yourselves with sloppy makeouts as you wait for the trembling in her limbs to fade</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;that way she has some strength to hold onto you when you stand</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you drag her up with you, her hooves finding purchase around your neck as you carry her</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;dong fully expanded</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;to where a stack of towels sit neatly folded</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you set her down and dry her briefly, then yourself</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;all the while taking every free moment to steal another kiss or squeeze or grope</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;satisfied that you're as clean as you're getting for the moment, you heft her up again and carry her into the bedroom, fairly tossing her onto the bed</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you leap in right behind her, rolling and tumbling through the sheets in a furious bout of sexual combat</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it rages through the night, you pinning her and hammering away at her marehood, her mounting you and riding your dick in the most ironic reverse cowgirl action of your life</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;occasionally you resort to cheating, lulling her into temporary submission by nibbling and rubbing her ears</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;more than once she holds your dick captive in her throat, sucking and moaning around your girth until you cry out for mercy</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it is, as the great scholars of the ages have deemed it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;one hell of a night&quot;</span><br />&#160;<br />&#160;<br />&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you wake up, exhausted, and glare hatefully at the accursed Day Star outside your window</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're not a morning person under the best of circumstances</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but whatever seething hatred you feel for Celestia's morning melts away when you look over at the other pillow</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Stardust lets out a distressed grumble when you slip your arm out from between her hooves</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but snuggles warmly into the pillow that you replace it with</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;good</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;maybe you can get some breakfast back to the room before she wakes up</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;just because it's her sworn duty to cater to an ambassador's every want and need doesn't mean she wouldn't want someone to take care of her instead</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you slip into a pair of boxers and pajama pants, then sneak out as quietly as possible</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're nearly to the kitchen when you hear a familiar laughter</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;of course, since it's in the Royal Canterlot Voice, you could probably hear it from fucking Appleloosa</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;HAHAHAHA! THOU WERT TRULY MOST EGREGIOUSLY RUSED, WERE THOU NOT ANONYMOUS?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you mourn the loss of your ability to hear sounds softer than a jet engine as you make your way into the kitchen and ask the cook for some bowls of oatmeal</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;turning to Luna at last, you scratch your head groggily and give her a puzzled look</span><br />&quot;Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Moon Horse?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she taps her front hooves together in something resembling a clap</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Why, the prank mine sister and I laid upon thee last night!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you nod, not really paying attention to her words</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Surely thou didst not believe that Royal Guards wouldst become thy consorts on nary more than thine position as ambassador? Ah, but the look upon thine face, t'were priceless!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you give her a half-lidded stare</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;right</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;like you're going to believe that line after you just spent the last 4 hours in a marathon with a Royal Guard</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you just give her a condescending pat on the shoulder</span><br />&quot;Yeah, you sure got me good, just now. Totally believe you.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;the Lunar Princess's nose scrunches up in confusion</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;One thing does bother Us, though... hast thou seen the one known as Stardust? She was absent from her shift during patrols last night.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stare at her</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;waiting for her to crack a smile and tell you she's joking</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;nope</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;stoically, you carry the tray back to your room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;ignoring the increasingly shrill voice of the Princess of the Night as she questions you more and more pointedly about Stardust's whereabouts</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you don't break pokerface until you reach the room and have the door safely and securely shut</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Stardust is already dressed in full regalia again as you walk in, and the two of you freeze as you notice one another</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it's dead silent</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;except for Luna yelling something about dereliction of duty and un-officer-like behavior on the other side of the door</span><br />&quot;So...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she fixes you with that stoic stare, patiently awaiting your order</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sir?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you'd mistake her coat for red if you were only looking at her cheeks, she's blushing so bad</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you clear your throat pointedly and nod at the window</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she could probably make it to an adjacent room and sneak out if she hurried</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;as she trots resolutely for the window, you clear your throat and she snaps to attention once more, still facing the window</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes sir.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you walk up to her and place an apple in her mouth for the road, lifting her helmet for a second to run a hand through her mane</span><br />&quot;Report to my quarters at <span class="nu0">6</span> o' clock sharp.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she resumes her climb out the window, but as she sneaks along the outcropping towards the next room, you'd swear you see a little smile on her face</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sir, yes sir.&quot;</span></div></div>




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